SATIRE: School fountains reach new low; dehydrate students
By Alex Doe ’16, News Editor In what many students are calling a “new low” for the water fountains at…
SATIRE: Featured (better than) teacher: This kid has all the answers
By Zach Miller ’17, Features Editor You’ve seen his kind in all of your classes. Whenever the teacher asks a…
SATIRE: Joke to reality: “It smells like something died in here”
By Jameson O’Neil ’18, Staff Writer On March 11, Patrick Lotor ’19 discovered something strange in the Wellesley High School…
SATIRE: Students awakes from Instagram induced coma
By Olivia Gieger ’17, Associate Editor On Thursday, Wellesley residents celebrated the return to consciousness of a sophomore student after…
SATIRE: Kasich is Krazy
By Matthew Hornung ’16, Staff Writer Voters will face a highly consequential decision this November, carrying with them the responsibility…
SATIRE: New SAT: The reviews are in!
By Celia Golod ’17, Features Editor With college acceptance rates dropping and pressure from friends and family to attend a…
SATIRE: Open-Minded Student Cannot Understand The Color Purple
By Rachel Landau ’16, Photo Editor Dustin Tansley ’16 mentioned recently in English class that he simply could not fathom…
SATIRE: Adventurous student struggles in Newton
By Peter Santo ’16, Sports Editor Newton may be one of the safest cities in America, but it was certainly…
SATIRE: New species discovered among student body; you won’t believe what they can do!
By Christie Yu ’18, Arts Editor A concoction of deodorant fumes and fermented cafeteria food smells, mixed with the blood,…
SATIRE: 3rd graders prep for prom
By Christine Arumainayagam ’16, Senior Staff Writer Prom: it’s every little girl’s dream. High heels, glittering jewelry, and of course,…