For most of the high school’s seniors, early November is when the multi-year process of readying college applications —  test scores, grades, essays, and financial aid, combined with  dreadful unpredictability — reaches its zenith. 

“We understand our town’s culture places emphasis on high achievement, and we recognize that students may find these pressures from friends, family, and classmates overwhelming,” said Dr. Doris O’Flannery, the head of the Counseling department. 

O’Flannery noticed visits to counselors tripled throughout October. Due to such high demand, students seeking mental health support have the option of joining a waiting list or entering the senior fall raffle. 

Raffle tickets offer a chance to win thirty minutes with a counselor, a petting session with a therapy dog, and a stress ball emblazoned with “literally no one cares where you go to college.”  

After finding several stress balls ripped to shreds, the Counseling department emphasized that students wishing to relieve strong emotions are welcome to stop by for a mindfulness coloring worksheet or to scream in a soundproof study cubby.

While some seniors use these healthier coping mechanisms to relieve their agony, the library has been the locus of several troubling developments. 

“Students hiding cricket noisemakers in the library during exam season was as bad as we thought it could get, but this year’s seniors have proven to be really something else,” Mr. Nero Maksimov, a librarian, said. 

For many students applying to the same schools as their peers, an element of secrecy arises over who applied where. The library has closed group meeting rooms and instituted a silence policy to curb disruptive gossip. However, the pressure is driving several seniors to the extreme.

“I’m applying early to Boston College to study finance, and I know they’ll only admit three kids from the high school in my decision round. I hope finding out who else is applying will give me the edge and inform me how to stand out from my classmates,” said Jaxon Branson ’25. 

Branson has been wearing a Boston College sweatshirt every Thursday since he decided he was applying over the summer. 

“It’s good luck. My grandpa went there and so did two of my uncles, so it’s really about embracing tradition. I practically took my first steps on the Boston College campus, and we take our Christmas card photos there every year,” said Branson. 

On October 3, Branson and three other students were caught peering through spotting scopes pointed through fourth floor windows overlooking the library. When one of the student’s phones was confiscated, images of fifteen different seniors’ Common Applications were discovered.

Additionally, there was a section in the notes app titled “Vandy opps” containing the names of seniors suspected of applying early to Vanderbilt University. 

“We’re used to fighting, substance use, and tardiness, but this level of preying on classmates is something I’ve never seen in my 53 years here,” Mrs. Camilla Meyers, a student supervisor, said. 

Online, students allegedly made similar attempts to reveal application information of their peers.

“I got this really suspicious email claiming to be a likely letter from Syracuse, and I clicked on the link because I’m desperate to hear if I got in,” said Brian Stewart ’25.

Some institutions send likely letters to inform strong applicants their admission is probable, hoping to attract their enrollment. In Stewart’s case, he replied to the email with his list of schools, hoping to inform Syracuse where else he applied. The list was leaked on Snapchat.

“Turns out opening that email was a super bad decision. Now my college counselor won’t reply to my emails, and my lacrosse team is making fun of me for applying to Tulane when my SAT score is only a 1350,” said Stewart. 

While information has taken the form of currency among the student body, speculation has also become an outlet for restless energy. At least two betting rings have been uncovered, with total bets exceeding $3,450.

“We kept hearing kids hollering in the accessible bathroom stall on the second floor, but didn’t think anything of it because we didn’t smell any vape fumes. The English department complained they couldn’t focus due to the noise, so we investigated,” said Mr. Jordan Diaz, a gym teacher.

Diaz discovered eight students piled into the stall betting on the valedictorian’s chances at Harvard admission. 

“I dragged them out and reminded them quarter one grades go to colleges, so they better get their act together and hit the books,” Diaz said. 

Students more focused on their own admission rather than others’ have also dabbled in the irresponsible. 

“Countless seniors come rushing into the office with racing heartbeats thinking they’re dying, but it’s really all that Celsius the kids drink. One senior chugged three before his history exam and passed out. Lay off the caffeine, get some sleep, and goodness gracious, chill out,” said Head Nurse Mr. Quentin Maynard. 

For all the high school’s seniors, fall proves to be a time of immense tension, and the patience of the building’s faculty is wearing thin. 

“You haven’t seen anything. You’re seventeen, for Christ’s sake. Just you wait for grad school,” said Diaz.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *