September 24, 2020

SATIRE: Broken glass and slashed tires – students feud over parking spaces

It is understandably difficult for those who walk but a minute from their or their parents’ car to get to and from school in the morning to sympathize for those who have recently been wronged by parking regulations around the school.

For those that are lucky, it is practical to think that having to walk the extra ten minutes to get to school should have no impact our lives. “I stubbed my toe once,” one student complained.

However, recent compelling frustrations like this have led students to action, of which those who do not face the issue may be oblivious too. In order to secure the closest spots to the school, students have been vandalizing each others vehicles.

Broken glass litters Paine street, spare tires fill every car, prepared for use, and a recent spike in spray paint sales at Ace Hardware suggests there is a problem.

This problem could be ignored, as the school has traditionally left it up to the town and students to communicate and figure it out. It is possible to have the Wellesley Police officers come by and take a look at the problem. This, however, I fear would backfire, and police officers could enforce parking tickets in addition to those vandalizing.

No, the only efficient and effective method by which we can solve this issue is to employ our own security guards with Segways. With our three security guards cruising at speeds of a menacing 12 m.p.h., who in their right mind would attempt to vandalize any vehicle under their watch, even half a mile away on Washington Street (it’s that far with the fields covered with snow).

At the same time, many are wary of fruitless spending on education in Wellesley, as shown by recent budget cuts. The money spent for three Segways could be used to build a new parking lot close to the school, an unquestionably beneficial and long lasting investment.

(Vincent Caruso ’16, Opinions Editor)

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